Doors left Ajar
by J0j2
Summary: A series of Trio stories between the big three. Update: When Kirk has been mysteriously kidnapped, how do Spock and McCoy deal with the absence and how does Kirk deal with humiliation and isolation?  NON SLASH, friendship, K/S/M.
1. Doors left Ajar

Doors left Ajar

Six men, all dead.

It took the world to process this through the head of the Captain, and as his dominating presence seemed to turn negative, everyone else around him now had this spiraling negativity just as well. McCoy stood tentatively at his shoulder, sharing the heartbreaking energy. Spock came around to them, as his subconscious human instincts told him something was amiss.

So there they stood, looming sadly above six dead figures, four men, two women, the only sounds left on the desert planet being a trio of companions, silently empathizing the pain of the man in the yellow shirt next to them, until finally he took out a communicator and alerted the ship above, in the stars, of the deaths.

As nighttime falls on the ship, all the bright lights illuminating hallways and dorms become dim and glow softly. The hum of the engines occupies both empty rooms and those with tenants. But even though the purr of the engines often helps to lull the captain of the mighty ship to sleep, tonight it only seems to be a burden.

Memories of the faces on the ground from earlier today float like ghosts past his eyes. Alone in his quarters, soft sounds echo off the hard floors, amplifying how solitary he his now. He decides that he will take a walk to a window-deck room. Seeing the stars so alive helps him calm his grief from death, hence his reason for becoming a captain.

Each step is heavy, since he is so tired, yet restless at the same time.

He finds the door to the deck, but surprisingly, this room isn't locked. At this hour, most recreational purposed rooms are locked up for the night, and you need to use the override. But this didn't strike him as odd. He didn't care much.

Entering with slumped back and weighted feet, he sees a head surfaced above the couch with cushy chairs on either side as the door quietly squeaks open, with the light on a low setting. The head doesn't turn to reveal a face. The captain treks onward silently lifted that there is another person in the room, instead of this unbearable solitude.

"Bones?" he says, recognizing the features in the dim light.

McCoy turns his head, a small, sheepish smile on his face. "Can't sleep either, huh?" he turns his blue eyes to the brown ones across from him.

Jim shakes his head. "Here," Bones offers, "sit down." Obediently, the captain finds his way next to his medical officer and friend.

"It was my fault." Jim began. "I sent them to an uncharted area, known to have unexplored diseases." There was a pause, filled only with passing stars.

"We still don't know what killed them. Jim, no matter how much you try to blame it on yourself, it's not your fault. Any captain would have done the same thing. You have to make decisions, even if it hurts." Bones's eyes were tired and sad, but reassuring. He was always there, helping Jim whenever he needed it. There was no way he could ever repay him for such a gift.

The door squealed open behind them, making the two officers turn as they saw a slim silhouette in the shape of a Vulcan standing in the door frame.

"I am sorry, gentlemen, I did not intend to interrupt. I saw the door was left unlocked," Spock explained in his ever relaxed voice.

"Its fine, Spock." Jim said, his voice tiredly smiling. "Come in."

Spock gave the Vulcan equivalent to a nod, and sat down in one of the chairs. "Is it realistic to assume both of you cannot sleep either?" he asked.

"Affirmative," the Captain said, yawning.

"Are you as shaken about the landing party today as us?" McCoy asked.

"I am not 'shaken', merely troubled by the loss of crewmembers." Spock replied. Kirk visibly shrunk in his chair, and McCoy shot an angry look at him.

Spock realized quickly that he had upset his captain, and friend. "Captain, I did not mean to offend-"

"No Spock," Jim interrupted. "it's not you…either of you." he glanced over at both of them, "it's my fault they're gone and I just can't live with myself. This has happened so many times – I feel like a murderer…" he splayed his hands on his thighs, looking at his palms.

"It was a choice you had to make, Jim." Bones inquired, his tone soft as he sat closer to where Kirk was, placing a gentle surgeon's hand on his forearm, causing the man's tense hands to melt a little.

"I would have made the same decision," Spock thought about what to address him as, and decided that 'captain' would only hurt, so he quietly added, 'Jim', at the end of the sentence.

The two officers looked intently to their companion, hurting them because he was in pain.

At that moment, Jim Kirk felt like the luckiest man in the galaxy, to have two friends so devoted and caring about his well being. He felt so glad he had not just someone, but two friends who would always give him something to lean on, no matter what.

"Thank you…both of you." he said, feeling his eyes begin to give way. McCoy's arm crept around his shoulders as he gave him a gentle shake to tell him they were there. Spock and McCoy locked eyes for a minute, in signs of approval of eachother.

"Try to go to sleep," Bones said to Jim as he released shoulders, letting the semi-concious Kirk slide on to the cusions of the couch and stretch out on the burgundy faux leather, head slightly rested on the doctor's thigh. His eyes floated to the vulcan. "You too, Spock."

"Doctor, I should like to-"

"I'm your Doctor, Spock." he said with a commanding glare with that, 'do I have to make that an order' presence.

Without furthur arguing, but with a raised, slightly annoyed eyebrow, Spock leaned back his head and quickly fell into sleep. His vulcan anatomy and mind disipline allowed him to fall in and out of a slumber in a flash.

McCoy tilted his head over to the side of the couch, resting it on a closed fist in the 'thinker' position. A subconcious hand rested protectively on the side of Jim's head.

Soon the room contained a couch and two chairs, three resting companions and one door, left ajar.


	2. Slammed Shut

Slammed Shut

A/N: I didn't leave one of these last chapter, sorry. I'm naughty. Thanks for the reviews, in this one I'll try to stretch my abilities more. I think I'm going to make this a series, because these ideas are good analogies – and writing fanfictions make me feel good about myself! On that note, I will now write.

"Bones, get out of the way." Kirk gritted his teeth together, spreading his arms to try to block his friend. McCoy stood, deliberately next to him, stubborn as always.

"No, Jim! I'm standing here with you. If you die, I will too!" he said, brow knitted in determination.

"Doctor, it would be wise of you to stand behind us." Spock said, tone logical but urgent.

"I'm more expendable than the both of you, get behind _me_! Jim, you're a starship captain, Spock, you're a first officer, and both of you are damn good at what you do! Get behind me!" his blue eyes were determined and burning with willpower.

Kirk wouldn't have anymore of this. Finally he stepped forward, in front of both of them, hands above his head and began talking, convincing –and finally succeeding to tell- these Gladians not to shoot.

The following day on the bridge, everything was quiet and orderly. Strange for this bridge crew. Something was lacking, and everyone was well aware a certain doctor did not show up for his usual round of humor and sarcasm, lightening the day's boredom in endless space considerably.

Kirk idly doodled on the PAD. It was a little cartoon of an Andorian and a phaser. He sighed and handed it to a stray yeoman, giving her something to do. She analyzed the little doodle and left.

The only thing that made noise was breath and instruments. The buttons made little noises in no particular pattern. Irritating was something Jim might have described it as.

Except that wasn't the only thing nagging at him.

A sidelong glance revealed Spock, at work as always, but slightly slumped as a possible jester of being bored…? No such thing for Vulcans.

But like Kirk, he too felt the absence of Doctor McCoy. His usual knocks at Spock did seem to lighten the mood, and –as much as he would never admit- amused him. Especially when he'd won the argument, but soon after he'd mentally scold his brain to tell himself that one _cannot _win an argument.

Spock drew himself back, to jot down some things as he thought about why McCoy might be missing. The doctor had gotten up earlier than usual for his shift. But on Gladorum, he recalled how angry he had gotten when the captain stepped in front of him and began to negotiate.

But Spock couldn't understand why, and decided work required his attention, although the question of these emotions lay at the bottom of his head, behind the bars with his human side, untouched from that which was Vulcan.

Similar ideas rolled around the brain of James Kirk. Being the captain, right now there weren't any orders to give, things to sign, or people to point at. And he couldn't just ask for a game system on the bridge, as much as he'd wanted to. He might be an adult, but hey, still a kid at heart.

Jim thought about how McCoy could've gotten killed yesterday. The Gladians would have shot, there was no question. He felt almost angry at Bones for disobeying orders, but mostly because he couldn't live with himself knowing one of his closest friends had died on a mission he was to lead.

Trying to let Spock's logic come into his mind, he also thought it would be hazardous to not have a chief medical officer – and another senior officer – onboard.

Putting his hand on his cheek, bent over on his captain's chair, he decided he was aggravated that Bones would disobey orders like that…He wouldn't admit that it was because he was afraid of losing him like those other crewmen a few months ago because of a stupid decision he made.

Finally, after an unbearable first shift, Kirk gathered himself and went into the turbo lift, along with a young ensign, Sulu and the one and only Mr. Spock.

"Long shift, eh?" Sulu said, stretching his neck which made an unpleasant popping noise.

"Yes indeed. I was considering ordering up coffee for the whole bridge." Jim yawned as Sulu got off.

"See you next shift, sir."

Jim nodded as a feeble response, as the yeoman stood silently. The next stop, both Spock and Kirk got off, stepping (without noticing) the unison of their feet.

They didn't notice each others' oblique looks at the other as they walked quietly but determinedly down the hallway, but without needed conversation, they both know the destination.

The door marked 'sickbay' squealed open as the two officers stepped in to find McCoy slumped over paperwork and PADs, but with close examination, not really doing much of anything at all.

He turned around tiredly, and at first glance of them, he silently whipped his head back, forcing his eyes to the papers.

Finally, Kirk and Spock openly exchanged looks as Spock began, "May I inquire as to why you weren't on the bridge today?"

A tangible tensing of the CMO's body revealed brooding anger. "And they've made that a requirement too have they?" he said in smarting sarcasm.

Kirk sighed. "Bones, why…what's bothering you?" he said, trying to set aside the annoyance he had from the prior incident from yesterday.

A long silence separated two statements. "Why would you care what I think." He responded coldly, phrasing it more as a fact than a question.

McCoy's tendency to become cold and argumentative when he felt angry or sad was not one of his better traits, making sewing up his wounds hard, since when he is cut, it's always very deep, and takes time to recover.

"What happened yesterday? Why are you so angry?" Jim said, desperately trying to find out why he was mad.

"I can't believe you can't see it…" His curt, impersonal voice hurt.

"I can't!" Kirk's arms flew up in surrender. "Bones, what is it?"

McCoy turned around in his chair, meeting Kirk's hazel* eyes with a frightening gaze, blue eyes thrashing like a storming ocean.

"You both always have to protect me!" he stood up." Why is that? I can't fend for myself? You both want to be heroes? Why the hell are you always defending _me_?" he yelled, his voice ringing through sickbay in contrast to the silence. "Why?" he asked a second time…but this wasn't as angry…it was more like…sad? Scared?

Spock and Kirk digested what had been said. Did they really always defend him?

"Doctor, I disagree. We treat you with equal respect as we would any officer. Why do you say otherwise?" Spock inquired, without needing to ask. In some respect, McCoy was right. But his Vulcan logic told him that they would be short handed in sickbay if he was harmed, but he knew the doctor was speaking correctly.

"Spock, you know exactly what I'm talking about." He tone was as icy as a harsh winter day.

Before Spock could think of a white lie (as vulcans do not lie, but white lies are in fact, a different subject.) or admit, Kirk interrupted his thoughts. "Neither of us does."

Bones rolled his eyes. "Alright, I'll give an example." he said with mock politeness. "With that empath Gem. I had to take you out for neither of you to save me. Or how about yesterday on Gladorum. Why in the devil's name didn't you just get behind me? You both were so persistent in saving _me._"

"Not you, both of you." Kirk addressed the Spock. "You were the other two officers with me, it's a captain's duty to-"

"Don't give me any of the horse crap. We all know plain and well that both of you were trying to save me. You two stood up like the goddamn stubborn walls you are and made me get behind you. Do you think I can't defend myself? I don't care if you want to be noble in a life or death situation…does it matter that much? Jim…Spock, why?"

Another silence became a long pause.

"We…" Jim realized he was speaking for both of them, and quickly looked for approval from Spock, and began with a new surety. "We're afraid of losing you, Bones." he said softly.

McCoy's eyes melted from the cold manner they were in, before turning into liquid…

He hid his head as he ran out the door to his quarters, not allowing even the closest of friends to see him like this.

Time heals all wounds they say, this one might take longer than most others. In time they'd all sort it out. Should they seek him? Maybe. But for now, the last sound in their minds was the hurried squeak of sickbay's doors slamming shut.

A/N #2: Sorry, two author's notes. Hope I did a good job on this one. It's brought up so many times in the original series how they're always defending him, and McCoy being the strongheaded awesome doctor he is, I can't help but feel he might be a little annoyed by this. Please R&R, thanks!

*I said hazel eyes!


	3. Locked Gates Part One

Locked Gates – Part one

After finding himself on a planet in an instant, Jim Kirk blinked a few times and looked around. This wasn't the bridge. How did he get here?

All of the sudden he was here. No telling why! But where was here?

He was in a small cage with huge steel beams that rose over thirty feet in the air.

A man wearing a crème colored robe approached him. "Where am I?" he demanded.

The man's face remained expressionless, almost like a Vulcan. "You are on Devios. Where you shall remain until our testing is over."

Kirk's face drained slightly, his gut telling him something was utterly amiss.

"Testing…?" he said, not entirely wanting to know what was going to happen.

"The Devianae have been studying your race in the large star ships you have in order to judge the purpose of your existence. We have observed and are conducting an experiment between the reactions of crewmembers to your absence."

Kirk's face still seemed puzzled and slightly scared.

"We will be paying our attentions to certain crew members and for your personal comfort, we will provide you with the results of our studies. You will also be provided with food and water. I will be back at the morning hours." the man turned away silently, leaving Kirk, alone in this cage, to digest the information.

"What the hell just happened?" McCoy explained, staring at the empty spot where Kirk had been sitting less than a second ago.

Spock turned around, face composed. As he saw what McCoy was referring to, a flash of alarm passed through two dark brown eyes.

The entire bridge crew was looking at what was in the captain's chair. Or more correctly, what _wasn't _in the captain's chair.

"Where is the captain?" Spock said, brown lowering, distressed.

"He was here a minute ago, Mister Spock." Chekov reported, staring into the slowly fading imprint of James Kirk in the faux leather chair.

"Commence ship-wide search, Mr. Sulu."

"Aye sir." the Asian said with out question.

"Spock, why would he just leave duty-"

"Doctor McCoy, I do not know, but we will search the ship never the less." McCoy rolled his eyes.

"Guess it couldn't hurt." He said, giving in. Behind that though, was nervousness. This reminded him of the Triskelion fiasco. He had to suppress a shiver.

The bridge was quickly intently chattering or working, Spock giving orders.

"Check the transporter beam activity history, solar-wide search on planets in sector Gamma V, Secure all decks-"the list of things streaming from Spock's mouth at such high speed was crazy, but totally calm and determined.

The level of silent fear continued to shake the bridge, but everyone did as they were told, working furiously.

7 hours after the shift was over, Spock remained at the comm., adamant and stone faced as always.

"Spock?" A door of an elevator squealed open. Spock turned to see McCoy standing in the door way. "It's getting late. You've been working at this for hours…" his voice trailed off as he realized that he didn't want to think about how that they couldn't find Jim.

"Doctor, I will not stop my search-"

"Spock, it's not healthy for you to be up this late," Bones said and continued again as soon as he saw Spock's lips about to speak, "And Vulcan physiology my ass! I'm your Doctor and you need to get some sleep." He said, firmly and aggravated, then added in a softer voice. "You're going to need if for tomorrow's search."

Stubbornly, Spock got up, and joined Bones at the doorway. "I do hope that the Captain is not in danger." He said quietly.

"Knowing Jim, whoever's with him is in more danger than he is." McCoy laughed softly, trying to cover up his fear with humor. "I hope he's okay too."

For the fifteenth time, Kirk tried pulling his body up onto the bars and begin climbing. It was an impossible task. The tightly placed bars were too close to slip through, yet too widely spaced to support his foot.

And as much as he hated to admit it, McCoy was right…he had put on a few pounds. His six pack wasn't what it used to be. Yet he still got all the girls…

He sighed softly and suddenly felt annoyed and angry with himself for thinking of something so stupid at a time like this.

He was worried for his ship, desperately hoping everyone was okay and wanting to contact them, but he had neither communicator nor phaser to melt the bars, and why would he? If you were sitting in a command chair, there was no reason to be carrying weapons or communication devices.

Kirk's eyes floated, tempted, to the food, put in something resembling a dog bowl. Its contents were something that did –unfortunately- look like dog food, and greens. The greens themselves looked semi eatable, so he chewed on them for something to do.

Leaning his head against the opening, he found that, once again, they were sturdily locked gates.

Head up to the starry, black sky, he wondered if everyone was safe. If his friends were safe, and mostly, if Spock and McCoy were safe, and feeling alone and cold in this night, he balled up, arms inside of sleeves, knees tucked under chin, and shut his eyes in a restless sleep.

A/N: So, I had to write something, and I was listening to annoying pop songs. The song 'airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars' came from the radio. (No, I don't know the real title…) Airplanes…star ships. There's some feeling about that song that touched me, even though most pop songs are meaningless. Regardless, I feel I should credit where I got this idea. There will be reference to 'I could really use a wish right now.' So, please if you have ideas on where this story should lead, BE MY GUEST. Got no idea. Trying to make this a three part, not too long.

Please R&R!


	4. Locked Gates Part Two

Locked Gates – Part 2

"Get up, you L'ktar." Another man in a deep red robe spat out the last word, leaving Kirk to believe it to be an insult. Jim's hands were shaking slightly and were difficult to will to stop, because the cold was so harsh and he had little more than his simple yellow tunic and undershirt and pants.

The man's face seemed younger, angrier, and holding emotion. "I am required," he hissed, "To report to you on the progress of your miserable species." Kirk's face lit up considerably, even if the information was coming from this angry form.

"The crew is slightly panicked, if not thoroughly shaken, yet still operational. The significant crewmembers we have decided to survey are also scared, but not acting as such. Although they are, more than others, considerably anxious as to your disappearance."

The man began to walk away.

"Wait!" Kirk cried, reaching out through the bars. The man turned with a grimace. "Who are the significant crewmembers?"

"I do not know if I am to tell you such information, and since I lack this knowledge, I refuse to tell." He growled before turning around.

"Wait!" Kirk yelled once more, earning a full on scowl from the maroon robed man.

"What do you require now, L'ktar?"

"Do you have a blanket?" he asked sheepishly. The man in the red robe approached his cage, stared him squarely in the eye – And spat onto his tunic. Well, it was worth a try.

Spock woke up in his bed, and found the covers on the floor, his head and shoulders in a chilly sweat. His mind had subconciously been running half wild to his shame. It was looked down upon heavily for those who could not control their dreams, and to those without enough mental discipline to have them.

Jim's disappearance had been difficult not to concentrate on. Truth to be told, he worried a great deal about the well being of his captain and friend, and without him there…

Fantasies of what danger he might be in or torture he may endure ran across his mind, set free of any mental firewalls. He became angry at himself for allowing this.

As he got dressed, he forced his head into a different mindset as he put a thin cotton, blue starfleet code tunic over a black T-shirt.

Today they would find the Captain. Everything would go back to normal, just as it always was. This is what he told himself, for once fighting the logic that told him otherwise.

Exhaling deeply, McCoy shook his head slightly, trying to rid his head of the nasty nightmares he was having. He wasn't sure how early it was, but his alarm hadn't gone off – or so he hoped – so instead he went in to the private bathroom in his quarters and splashed some water on his face. It was colder than expected.

He half stumbled back, grabbing for a towel, which he rubbed on his face with releif. It was too early to be clumsy.

His dreams had been scary, remembering the whole episode with Gem. The pain both he and Kirk had endured, and, like he had thought earlier that day, about Triskelion. Jim hadn't stopped himself before giving grusomely descriptive details about that incedent, painting vivid pictures of the scenes and people.

He had drempt he, along with Kirk and Spock, had been on triskelion also, but the Vians, Gem's captors, were the ringleaders.

Shoving the thoughts violently out of his head, he decided to stop dwelling in his night visions and put on a determinded face for what was to come today.

As he stepped out of his quarters and into his domain, he stopped and turned around to head for the bridge.

Upon arrival, he found Spock in the chair along with a couple other bridge members who had also gotten up early.

"Spock?" he piped up, coming around, down the couple stairs to Spock's side.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Is…there anything I can do?"

Spock paused a minute to think.

"At this moment I do not believe there is anything that your knowledge is fit to do involving the search. We do not require your services, unless someone has an injury. Please return to sickbay." Spock turned his head down as he said the final line, coming off as very rude. McCoy sighed agitatedly and pursed his lips.

"Now you listen here. Jim is my friend too, as well as yours. I'm not going to damn stay in sickbay and pace the floors, and I sure hope that isn't what you expect me to do."

"Doctor, your services are _not _required, and it would be best if you did not interfere."

"Interfere?" McCoy exploded. "You think that me being up here is going to jeopordize getting Jim back here?" He narrowed his eyes. "Listen, Spock. I'm staying right here whether you like it or not."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "There is no reason for you to be here and more emotional outburts so as this one could spread an image of fear throughout the crew. The senior officers on this ship agree to project an image of composedness. You're clearly disturbed presence does not help this directive, Doctor."

Bones gritted his teeth. "You pointy eared…" he decided Spock was right on some level, that they had to be examples…but he was staying on this bridge. "Spock," he began. "If there's nothing I'm needed for, I will still be up here. I won't be a burden, but…Jim means a lot to me too. I need to be up here…" he eyes were half pleading, half stubborn. Even if Spock said no, he was still staying up here. He'd just like to have his friend's approval as well.

Spock looked at the baby blue eyes of the CMO, and thought about how, as close as Jim and he were, also a trio. And that the absent captain would allow –by all means – for McCoy to be up here. If he wasn't a vulcan, he would've sighed.

"If you do project your emotions in a negative manner, you will be ordered off the bridge."

"Whatever, you hobgoblin." He smiled thankfully back at his Vulcan friend and laughed a little bit, eyes grateful. "How's the search coming?"

"Little data. He simply vanished and we do not know where we are to search. We will search in the areas around this portion of the galaxy."

"And if he's not there?"

"We will continue." Spock said firmly.

As much as McCoy felt right now, anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, worry – he could not have chosen a better person to invest those emotions in right now because he knew that Spock would pull them through.

He always did.

He had to.

If there was one thing that James Kirk hated was the absence of people.

As a Captain he was always surrounded. Everywhere, everyone and he loved it.

Now he sat, alone in a dreadful isolation. It was chilling both mentally and physcially.

As he staired up at the night stars, he wanted their light to comfort him. Bring him some warmth, bring him someone. Bring him something to hold on to.

And then he saw a shooting star.

His eyes became teary as a seemingly endlesss list of wishes filled his head.

He wished his friends were safe.

He wished his his ship was okay.

But most of all he wished that they would find him and wished that that wish would come true. Things like this had happened before and they always found him. They'd have to find him.

They always did…

A/N: How was that chapter? Sorry, a little rusty, haven't written this story in a while. Ideas and thoughts for next chapters and how these things should work out. Thanks for reading! Once again, I apologize for the OOC in one of the previous chapters for McCoy. I'll try to update that ASAP.


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